Dear Joyce,
I have been going out with Tom for two years now, and we are planning to get married. We share a lot of interests, and have enormous fun together, I know that we would have a good and stable marriage.
Last autumn, however, we had a few problems. I was working abroad for a month, and shortly after I left Tom wrote to me saying that he had been out with his ex-girlfriend a few times. He said they were just friends, but I was quite upset. About this time I met Alan, who was working on the same project as me. I was very, very attracted to him, and we began going out together. He is obviously very much in love with me, and I am in love with him too, in a way. I have never been so physically attracted to a man as I am to him - the memory of certain moments with him still makes me go weak with pleasure. But it is not only physical: we have all sorts of things in common. He wants me to marry him. We have continued to write, and have seen each other once since then, when he came to England. If I did marry him, I would have to give up my job and go abroad, which bothers me — my career is important to me. And I am worried that our relationship might not last.
Tom knows that I went out with Alan, but he does not know how powerfully I am attracted to him. Tom and I have talked over the problem of his ex-girlfriend, and I was very impressed with the way that we were able to discuss things. I am still very, very fond of Tom, and I am sure that we would have a good life together. In every way but one, we are probably much better suited to one another than Alan and I are.
What should I do? I feel so mixed up. Should I marry Alan and give up my job? Should I stay with Tom? If I do, I couldn't tell him the whole truth about Alan; but I hate the idea of keeping a secret from my husband.
Please help me.
Linda
I have been going out with Tom for two years now, and we are planning to get married. We share a lot of interests, and have enormous fun together, I know that we would have a good and stable marriage.
Last autumn, however, we had a few problems. I was working abroad for a month, and shortly after I left Tom wrote to me saying that he had been out with his ex-girlfriend a few times. He said they were just friends, but I was quite upset. About this time I met Alan, who was working on the same project as me. I was very, very attracted to him, and we began going out together. He is obviously very much in love with me, and I am in love with him too, in a way. I have never been so physically attracted to a man as I am to him - the memory of certain moments with him still makes me go weak with pleasure. But it is not only physical: we have all sorts of things in common. He wants me to marry him. We have continued to write, and have seen each other once since then, when he came to England. If I did marry him, I would have to give up my job and go abroad, which bothers me — my career is important to me. And I am worried that our relationship might not last.
Tom knows that I went out with Alan, but he does not know how powerfully I am attracted to him. Tom and I have talked over the problem of his ex-girlfriend, and I was very impressed with the way that we were able to discuss things. I am still very, very fond of Tom, and I am sure that we would have a good life together. In every way but one, we are probably much better suited to one another than Alan and I are.
What should I do? I feel so mixed up. Should I marry Alan and give up my job? Should I stay with Tom? If I do, I couldn't tell him the whole truth about Alan; but I hate the idea of keeping a secret from my husband.
Please help me.
Linda
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